I gave my 21-year-old daughter a bare bottom spanking for getting a C in mathematics in college and now she doesn't want to see me anymore and lives in a dorm. How do I win her back?

 

First and foremost, it's important to acknowledge the gravity of the situation and take responsibility for your actions. Physical punishment, especially involving bare bottom spanking, is not an appropriate or effective way to address academic performance or behavior, particularly with a young adult. It's crucial to recognize the harm that such actions can cause and apologize sincerely to your daughter for any pain or distress you have caused her.

Initiate an open and honest conversation with your daughter, expressing genuine remorse for your actions and acknowledging the impact they have had on your relationship. Listen to her perspective without judgment and validate her feelings, acknowledging the hurt and betrayal she may be experiencing. Reassure her that you are committed to repairing the relationship and regaining her trust.

Take proactive steps to make amends and demonstrate your commitment to change. This may involve seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor to address any underlying issues that may have contributed to the use of physical punishment and to learn healthier and more effective parenting strategies. Additionally, respect your daughter's boundaries and give her the space she needs to process her emotions and heal from the experience.

Show your daughter through your words and actions that you are committed to supporting her growth and well-being, both academically and emotionally. Offer your unconditional love and support, and be patient as you work towards rebuilding your relationship. Ultimately, rebuilding trust takes time, but with genuine remorse, open communication, and a commitment to change, it is possible to repair the bond between you and your daughter.